Dealing with Insomnia

“A silly man lies awake all night

Thinking of many things.

When the morning comes he is worn with care,

And his trouble is just as it was.”

~ Norse proverb from the Poetic Edda 

This quote is dedicated to all those who, like me, have a terrible, terrible time falling asleep at night. Thank you, Joseph, for sharing it with us.

Although I like to think that my not being able to fall asleep has little to do with worrying, this belief—true or not in my subconscious—is hardly helpful when I’m lying awake wondering why in the world my mind is still so active when the rest of me is clearly worn out. It’s when I wake up in the early hours of the morning that I tend to get hit by my worries. In either case though, not being able to fall asleep and not being able to stay asleep are both rather painful experiences in the long run. And the problem is that there aren’t any guaranteed ways to combat it.

I still remember this one night during college when I just couldn’t fall asleep, so I finally got up at five in the morning to write an essay for one of my semester finals. I got the essay done, and scored well on it too, but it’s definitely not an experience I would want to repeat, especially the part where I spent the rest of the day drifting about in a sort of lightheaded daze from lack of proper rest.

In light of this, here are some of the things that I’ve tried that do help me with falling asleep.

•  Think Positive: I like to spend a few minutes reviewing all the good things that have happened during the day or just in general—and that includes the small things (like a great cup of coffee or a beautiful, sunny day) as well as the big ones (like having a wonderful family and a roof over my head).

•  Avoid Worrying: Bedtime is a terrible time to think about important things or dwell on worries. As the quote above says, you can spend all night worrying, and nothing will have changed when morning comes. It’s not worth losing sleep over. Of course, that’s easier said than done, but you’re the only one who can face your worries, think them through, and accept them. Some people find it helpful to try and not think at all when trying to sleep, but I find that quite impossible. Instead, I make myself think about what I like to call “interesting but unimportant” things, things that entertain me but I don’t have to remember come morning (i.e. no making plans).

•  Calming Teas: Some people find certain herbal teas to be helpful for inducing drowsiness, and I do think it works sometimes. In fact, there’s a brand of tea called “Nighty Night” specifically for this purpose. The downside is that if you don’t time it just right, you may end up having to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night, which sort of gets in the way of a good night’s rest.

•  Ginger and Brown Sugar Soup: This is a hot, Chinese sweet soup that Mom makes sometimes and is supposed to help with blood circulation and sleep. It’s quite spicy with lots of ginger, and the brown sugar is of a particular type nicknamed “red sugar” for poetic reasons in Mandarin. I’ve found it helpful the few times I’ve had it, though you have to like hot, spicy, sweet drinks.

•  Background Sound (or Lack Thereof): Figure out what kind of environment helps you relax. Some people like silence. I like a little bit of noise, preferably something low and monotonous like a portable fan or area heater (with temperature controls—don’t want to accidentally burn the house down).

There are plenty of other tricks and methods, of course. These are just some of the ones I use. Dad likes to get up and read a little when he can’t fall asleep, which works really well for him and I imagine I would do also if I weren’t legally blind.

Here are some articles that I found interesting and possibly helpful.

“Insomnia: Self Help” University of Cambridge Counseling Service

“Tips for Dealing with Insomnia” by Vijai P. Sharma, Ph.D

The Plans of Men

“Life is 10 percent what happens to you and 90 percent how you respond"

~ Joel Osteen, January 13, 2013 service 

I jotted this quote down while I was listening to Joel Osteen on TV this past Sunday morning, and then Mom quoted it to me again when she got back from church. I guess it left a deep impression on both of us.

It’s not easy to be happy or thankful when things don’t go the way we planned, but I definitely think it’s worth trying. It’s hard not to be upset for that one instant when something bad happens, but after that, whether we stay unhappy really is our choice. We don’t usually think about being happy as being a choice, but when you think about it, that’s exactly what it is.

It reminds me of whenever I used to worry about an essay I turned in or whether I should have said or shouldn’t have said something. I’d tell my sister, and then my sister would say something along the lines of “that’s stupid”, and I’d feel better. Of course, this only works for us because we know each other so well. I wouldn’t go and say that to a casual acquaintance.

It’s all about perspective.

But it’s not just about choosing not to let something upset you. It’s a mindset that has to be cultivated long term. As he said, you have to decide ahead of time not to be upset no matter what happens. It’s a lot easier to take a deep breath and calm down when something happens if you were already prepared to deal with it than to try and fight for your cool after you’ve already lost it.

That explains why it can be so hard. We weren’t prepared.

Dad’s had so many long business trips in the past couple years, and it’s always depressing when we have to say goodbye to him at the airport, wondering when he’ll be back and if his return will be delayed this time—again. On one of these business trips, he had quick stops in both China and Taiwan before finally boarding the plane for Korea. We were hopeful that this time, he’d be home on time. But just like so many times before, the moment he got there, his schedule started being shuffled around. He’d call us in the morning to say he’d be leaving stop one later than planned, only to call again that evening to say he’d be early. On the bright side, since we’d sort of expected this to happen, we tried not to let it bother us too much. In retrospect, frustrating though all the schedule changes were at the time, they were all incredibly fortuitous. Because of the time shifts, Dad left China on the plane just half an hour before all flights leaving the city were canceled due to storm winds and flooding. Then his plane from Taiwan left moments before the area he was staying was hit by one of the island’s serious, summer typhoons. If it weren’t for all the rescheduling, he may have been caught in either of these natural disasters. Sometimes, what seems like a bad thing may not be so terrible in the long run. As the Chinese saying goes, man’s plans can’t measure up to the plans of heaven.

Not So Complicated

“Don’t outsmart your common sense”

~ lyrics from Love Like Crazy by Lee Brice 

I heard this song on the radio this past Sunday on my way to class.

Everyone I know seems to have a different way of listening to songs. For instance, Mom will listen only to the music for the most part, and will have no idea afterwards what the lyrics were about. One of my cousins likes to look up lyrics after listening to a song, but only if she likes the feeling of the song first. I, on the other hand, always find myself noting down the words as I hear them, as long as the song is in a language that I understand. Because of this, certain songs stick in my head because of their stories or—in this case—the phrases that they use.

It really can be too easy sometimes to talk ourselves out of doing the right thing, especially when we’re nervous or scared—like when we know we should say sorry, but we’re not ready yet to admit that it’s our fault. At other times, we over think something so much that we just end up confusing ourselves and we still don’t have a satisfactory solution. That saying “making mountains out of molehills” also comes to mind.

Sometimes, maybe it’s not our logic or our reasoning ability that we need.