Making Happiness

“Happiness is not the natural state of mankind and is never achieved from the outside in.”

~ Witches Abroad by Terry Pratchett

I was talking with Mom on the car the other night about happiness and what people need—or don’t need—in order to be happy. Long drives after dark along streets lined with streetlights seem to be good times for such philosophical discussions. But in any case, I brought up this quote and spent some time explaining to her what it meant.

Happiness is something that we have to work for. If we want it to last, it has to come from inside. No amount of money or fame or popularity will make a person happy if he (or she) doesn’t believe that he is happy.

You can’t give someone else happiness—although of course, you can help.

I was always fascinated by the fact that happiness is literally good for you. It’s healthy to be happy, and in light of this, my psychology textbook in college suggested taking a few minutes out of every day to list all the things you are thankful for—even the little things like “I’m thankful that it was sunny” or “that was a great cup of coffee”. So maybe I feel a little silly sometimes doing this, but I find that it really does work, especially when I’m feeling stressed or frustrated. Perhaps this practice also helps to keep us grounded in the present, to pull us back from getting too caught up in useless anxieties about what lies ahead and just be grateful that we made it through another day.

In addition, if other people can’t give you happiness, it also means that they can’t take it away from you.

Jigsaw

“Art is making some order out of chaos—out of randomness”

~ Laurie A. Doyle, Craft of Writing class Fall 2013

I never really thought about art that way, but it does make a kind of sense.

Perhaps this is one reason we write, one reason we do art and compose music—in an attempt to make order out of the chaos of our lives and get some semblance of sense out of it all. It would also explain why, for the most part, we don’t like stories to be full of inconsistencies and illogical contradictions. We don’t want our stories to so much mirror life as explain it.

Another student in my class asked the professor, “How can I make sure my writing has a deeper meaning?” She felt that her work read too simply, not like those literary pieces we discuss in class brimming with layers upon layers of “deeper meanings” and philosophies that people can talk about for hours. As a writer who has sometimes felt the same, I really liked the professor’s answer.

As long as you’re writing about life, she said, your work can’t be too simple. After all, being a human being is extremely complicated. I find this helpful to keep in mind, although I use the phrase “human being” loosely.

I often feel like the process of developing and writing a story is like sorting through a puzzle. I love the moment when each piece starts to click into place, when problems I didn’t yet have the solutions to begin to resolve themselves. There’s just something beautiful about discovering how all those pieces come together to form the final masterpiece.

The "Right" Way

“I ask them to take a poem
and hold it up to the light
like a color slide

or press an ear against its hive.

I say drop a mouse into a poem
and watch him probe his way out,

or walk inside the poem's room
and feel the walls for a light switch.

I want them to waterski
across the surface of a poem
waving at the author's name on the shore.

But all they want to do
is tie the poem to a chair with rope
and torture a confession out of it.

They begin beating it with a hose
to find out what it really means.”

~ Billy Collins, “Introduction to Poetry” from The Apple that Astonished Paris

I started attending a creative writing class last week, and this was one of the pieces we read on the first day. I guess it’s not exactly a quote, but it’s short and I laughed aloud when I read it—so here it is.

Aside from having some rather fun imagery, the last few lines really reminded me of the relationship between so many students and their—often forced—study of literature. They’re asked to write essays about what they read, and so often, it seems like they just want to know what they’re “supposed to write” and what the “right” answer is. I need to remind them constantly that when it comes to interpreting something and writing an essay about it, there’s no such thing as a right answer. Every scene, every line of text, every picture—it can all strike us in different ways and probably does all the time. There’s only whether you explain your thoughts clearly enough, and how well you back up your ideas with reasons that other people can understand.

Understanding is a dynamic process. It changes and evolves as observations are made or connections are drawn. That’s what makes examining a piece of artwork interesting; everyone can look at a piece in a different way, and they can all be right.

Remembering

“The important thing about having lots of things to remember is that you’ve got to go somewhere afterwards where you can remember them, you see? You’ve got to stop. You haven’t really been anywhere until you’ve got back home.” 

~ Twoflower, The Light Fantastic by Terry Pratchett

Not one of my favorite Discworld books, but I always did like this quote.

Finally coming back home after spending three months in Taiwan feels so surreal. All of life’s usual routines slip back into place with barely a whisper, and it’s as though I’ve never left except for the memories and all the little things that I brought back.

Maybe it’s a bit ridiculous too, but sometimes, it really does feel like you haven’t been anywhere until you tell someone about it. In the telling, our words somehow give the memories substance. While the adventure is happening, you’re often too busy taking part in it to really register the experience.

To all those who celebrate it, a happy Chinese Mid-Autumn Festival!

Growing Up

“If you don't know where you're going, any road will take you there”

~ George Harrison 

An interesting thought, although I guess it depends on what you mean by not knowing where you are going. Obviously, when it comes to life, you can’t know for sure. But a lot of us have dreams of where we want to go.

If I interpret this quote to mean that there is no “right” road, then I think it makes a lot of sense.

Two of my cousins have recently graduated from college, and it’s been two years since I started on the same road that they are now embarking on. That and the heavy rains going on outside right now make me think a lot about how things have changed. In a lot of ways, going to college and graduating from it marks a point in our lives where we’re considered grown up: adults. It’s when we really start having to not only make our own decisions but take the responsibilities that come with them and the consequences that follow. It’s when we really have to start making our own plans for the future.

And it seems to me that the biggest difference between being a child and being an adult is that you discover that no one can give you the “right” answers to anything. A lot of people will have answers when it comes to what you should do or what you should try, but accepting those answers is a matter of choice—and no matter what you choose, it’s not “right” or “wrong”. No one can tell you if it’s good or bad that you decide to take one job or another, if you decide to go to graduate school, or if you want to take a year off to go exploring the world before settling down. The fact is that other people don’t know any more about how a decision will affect your future in the long run than you do. A little annoying and inconvenient sometimes when you want advice, but true.

So in the end, we just have to keep moving forward. Keep learning, keep doing things, and keep trying to find a way to reach our goals. As long as we don’t sit idle, we’ll get to where we need to be.

The Importance of Learning Language

“Nobody is capable of free speech unless he knows how to use language, and such knowledge is not a gift: it has to be learned and worked at.”

~ Northrop Frye, The Educated Imagination

I’ve just finished teaching in a rather intensive summer program, and this quote seems to me like a great reminder for all of my English students. We spent much of the last six weeks discussing—and, of course, writing—about language and communications. I chose this topic both because it had the potential for good debates and also because it was relevant to my students’ own lives and their experiences learning English in a Chinese-speaking country. While looking for arguments against the learning of a foreign language, one group of students decided to go with the fact that it would take away from or interfere with learning one’s native tongue. It was a logical choice, but they had the hardest time elaborating upon it. Perhaps it’s too easy to take for granted the advantages of being able to use one’s native language.

Why learn a language? Why bother working so hard to master the nuances of written and spoken communications?

Well, for one thing, because in order to really express yourself, it’s kind of important to be understood. Of course you don’t always have to use words. You can use pictures, music, videos—whatever artistic pursuit catches your fancy. But you can’t escape the fact that language makes up such a huge part of how people communicate. That’s why students come to class to try and learn how to use language—not just to be clear and to make sense, but also to be able to put their thoughts and feelings into their words. I’m sure my students would agree that it’s not that easy.

To Conform or Not to Conform

“Mom told me not to show off my real power, and I’m really trying not to. But why should I hide it? This whole fitting in thing is really weird.”

~ Son Gohan, Dragon Ball Z episode “Gohan Goes to High School”

Ah, weird doesn't even begin to cover it.

I’ve never felt more keenly than at this year’s BayCon how much of a monster social media has become. The one reoccurring piece of advice that all the panelists gave to writers at every panel I attended was to work at creating and maintaining a presence on the Web. It’s what you have to do in order to fit in to this changing society of ours, especially if you want to succeed. Apparently, there are some publishers who will not consider an author if he or she does not already have a sizeable e-network; they will actually look up authors on sites like Facebook to see how many “friends” they have.

It’s all rather ironic and a little sad. Strange too, considering how casually many social connections are made and treated. There was an article in the TIMES recently describing the “Me, Me, Me Generation” in which the author discusses how people in this modern era spend so much time and effort working to become noticed, to elaborate on their lives and become giants in the universe created by online social media. Maybe this is a little self-centered, but at the same time, it seems people have no choice. Even people who dislike or feel burdened by the constant demands of using social media have no choice but to join the fray, especially as a creative artist of any kind.

Because the fact is that, with how things are right now, that’s what works.

Yes, technology has made our lives easier in many ways. It has provided many people with new and amazing opportunities. But at the same time, it also makes life increasingly complicated.

So maybe we aren’t Saiyans and we don’t have superpowers that need to be kept secret, but fitting in is still a problem. Do we all really have to conform this way in order to get ahead? I guess there’s always an exception to the rule, but who knows?

Building Bridges

“Sitting down face to face and talking about things might not solve everything, but if we don’t do it, we’ll never understand each other at all.”

~ Matsumoto Rangiku, Bleach episode 63 (English version, of course) 

I was looking down the panel descriptions for this year’s BayCon and saw a panel on interpersonal communication skills. Everyone is encouraged to attend, it said, because such skills are great to have.

So true.

I know we’ve written about how important it is to listen, but for those who are shy or quiet or afraid, it’s perhaps also a good reminder that talking is important too. It’s hard to build solid friendships with people who don’t know anything about you, just as it’s hard for people to befriend you if you never share anything about yourself.

A good conversation has to involve more than one person, and that goes for both the talking and the listening. And good conversation skills go a long way in both deepening relationships and solving problems.

Last week, my family decided to give everyone some time during dinner where he or she could just talk and pour out everything that he or she has been thinking or worrying about. Only after said person had gotten everything out was anyone allowed to comment, advise, or give suggestions. I think it was a great idea. Banning interruptions also helped us avoid any possible arguments that arise from not fully understanding one person’s thoughts or problems. Hopefully, this is something we’ll continue to do.

Measuring the Moments

“IF PEOPLE KNEW WHEN THEY WERE GOING TO DIE, I THINK THEY PROBABLY WOULDN'T LIVE AT ALL.”

~ Death, Reaper Man by Terry Pratchett

There are so many ways you can think about this. At first glance, it seems to contradict the idea of “living for today”, but really, I think it’s the same idea from a different angle.

In Pratchett’s Reaper Man, Death—a being unused to the constraints of time—is faced with the knowledge that, as a living being, he will one day die. For him, this is a fact that inspires great fear, fear so oppressive that it disrupts necessary, everyday activities like sleep. I’m sure that many of us experience such fears and uncertainties at some point in our lives—What will happen to me? What about the people that I love?—and they most certainly make it hard to concentrate on living. If people knew when they were going to die, I wonder who would be consumed by despair and who would actually be able to take advantage of the time they have. To know and feel the deadline drawing ever closer—it would certainly be an unpleasant piece of knowledge to be burdened with.

On the other hand, sometimes, the knowledge that we must all one day move on can inspire people to live their lives more fully. It can be the push that people need to go ahead and take a risk or to try something new, knowing that we may not have a second chance. It can be a bit morbid, but I think it works.

And perhaps the knowledge of the ephemeral nature of our own lives can help us put things in perspective—help rearrange our priorities.

As I write these things, this is a song that comes to mind.

Men and Monsters

“Bradley understands love. He’s going to make it just fine as a human being, and the only things I personally choose to exterminate are demons.”

~ Dante, Devil May Cry episode 3 

With how much time people spend wondering about who they are and what their purpose really is in the grand scheme of things, perhaps it’s to be expected that so many stories concern themselves with the question of what it really means to be a human being. Or, as it may turn out, what it means not to be a human being—whether or not you really have to have supernatural powers or come from another dimension to be a demon.

As a fantasy writer, I also have a certain fascination with the philosophical details of these questions.

It’s interesting how often emotions of caring or love are associated with a person’s humanity. I have to admit that such an association appeals to me, but I wonder if perhaps this has more to do with what we want to believe than what is actually true. Likewise, we call the people who do terrible and evil things monsters because we don’t want to believe that a human being—a being like ourselves—would ever commit such cruelties.

of course, that’s the rather pessimistic view of things.

Defining Genius

“A genius is someone who can find joy in living even stuck out in the middle of nowhere”

~ Tin Peng 

Or, as I like to phrase it, a genius is someone who knows how to enjoy life. The quote above is a rough translation from Chinese.

This was my cousin’s definition of a genius, and it’s by far my favorite. We were headed to dinner with some of her parents’ friends, and—as often happens when being introduced to new families—my aunt got to talking about how outstanding their son was. Usually, this means how well he did in school, what school he went to, or how successful he has been in his career. My cousin, seated in the car beside me, remarked that yes, she thought their son was a genius too, but that it wasn’t just that he did well in school and was very smart. She thought he was a genius because he did great in school without having to try very hard, and because he was the kind of person who could find something interesting no matter where he was.

I never forgot her comment. Most people probably wouldn’t lot “enjoying life” in with the usual qualities of genius, but I think that it makes a lot of sense in its way. After all, being able to enjoy life isn’t always as simple as it sounds, and being able to do so no matter where you are is truly a gift in itself.

Caught in the Rush

“Organize, don't agonize.”

~ Nancy Pelosi 

If you’ve been living in America for any length of time, you’re probably no stranger to waiting in line. Waiting in line can be quite tiring, but at the same time, I think I rather appreciate the custom—especially after spending a week in Beijing, China where the idea of people waiting patiently in line for anything feels like just a dream.

There are so many people in Beijing that it gives a whole new meaning to “crowded”. As Dad’s Beijing colleague put it, you don’t even have to walk when you’re taking the subway. You just drift on and off the shuttle, carried along by the press of the masses. After last week, I can honestly say that that’s no exaggeration, especially during rush hours, which come before 9:00 AM in the morning and start again at 4:00 PM in the afternoon. There were so many people on the shuttle that I didn’t have to hold on to anything to stay upright despite the motions of the shuttle, and when we pulled into or out of a station, you could feel the entire mass of people swaying a little forward and back inside the shuttle as one, gigantic entity. Getting off at our stop was an exercise in timing, how to get out as quickly as possible before the people behind us shoved us out instead. Getting on and off the bus could be much the same, a mad, shoving scramble for space where you either win or you don’t. According to one of the people that we met, the Chinese government used to employ people at every bus stop—back before the subway was built—whose job it was to give the last person getting on the bus a hard push so that everyone could squeeze on and the door could close behind them.

I suppose the entire experience put the matter of organization very much on my mind. Waiting in line for your turn can be boring, but in a lot of ways, it has a certain kind of efficiency. Or at least it’s a safer alternative. Just crossing the street can be such an ordeal when all the cars are turning—red light or green light—and people are walking—red light or green light—all looking for the best chance to squeeze past and be on their way.

Chaos makes getting things done quickly much tougher. Not to mention disorganization can be a huge source of stress.

Funny though... When people are really disorganized, they can seem really busy and productive. Whereas really organized people can get work done much faster and end up with more free time, and can consequentially seem more lazy or unproductive to the casual observer...

Joyful Dislikes

“Citizens hate living there, and if they have to move away on business or adventure—or more usually until some statute of limitations runs out—can’t wait to get back so they can enjoy hating living there some more”

~ Moving Pictures by Terry Pratchett

People can be weird like that. Sometimes, we enjoy disliking something just as much as we enjoy liking something.

When you get down to it, people seem to really love complaining.

While I wouldn’t necessarily say that that’s a completely terrible thing, I do wonder if perhaps it can lead to some unhealthy behavior, unfortunate beliefs, or ill consequences. After all, words do have quite a bit of influence over us, no matter how jokingly we say them. Who knows? If we say something enough times, maybe it’ll become true. And you never know when an insult or a complaint said in jest might be taken as truth and cause real damage.

Again, this quote was written down while I was listening to the audiobook, so I apologize if the formatting is not exactly the same as it appears in the printed book.

Simple Days

“Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated.”

~ Confucius 

We do seem very good at that, certainly.

I always hear people say that your college years are the best years of your life, and I remember thinking, “No way.” I mean, if college really is a person’s best years, what does that mean for our futures? What kind of years could we look forward to after that? Sure, entering the “real world” means people have to take things more seriously, but that doesn’t mean they can’t be great years, that we can’t have fun or set about creating great memories. I listened to the grownups talk about those “best years” and I promised myself that I wasn’t going to let my life get less interesting after college graduation.

Well, now I’ve been a college graduate for almost two years, and I think I understand better now why my parents and everyone else used to say that about college. It’s not that you don’t have fun after you graduate. College comprises some of the best years of our lives because, while we’re in college, we know exactly where we stand in the world. We know what we’re supposed to be doing, what our goals are in the near future, and how we have to work in order to achieve those goals. Life is simple when your position is so straightforward and organized.

So maybe college doesn’t have to be the best years of your life, but you should certainly enjoy them while you can. That kind of simplicity can be so rare in our lives these days.

Thinking along these lines, I suppose that one way to make life more simple is to figure out just where it is we belong, who it is we are or want to be, and set a clear plan for how to proceed. Of course, such things are always easier said than done. It’s just not that easy to stamp out all the doubts that make life so complicated.

Every Story

“The life of every man is a diary in which he means to write one story, and writes another.”

~ James Matthew Barrie

Being in somewhat of a melancholy mood at the moment, this quote seemed quite suitable.

Most of us have certain expectations, whether those are expectations of ourselves or of other people—or of life in general. We have dreams and visions in our mind of what we want our lives to be like, where we want to go, or what we want to be. The stronger that image or desire, the harder it can be when we intend to write about successes and end up writing about failures.

Still, I think it’s good to remember that good stories need a little turbulence—as long as we don’t just lie down and let the story end anyway.

It also brings to mind the first few lines of a song from Disney’s Lion King II:

"As you go through life you'll see
There is so much that we
Don't understand
And the only thing we know
Is things don't always go
The way we plan"

Picture It

“As long as we treat him like a criminal, he’ll always think he is one”

~ Peter, White Collar episode 46 

We read about an experiment in psychology class where researchers studied the progress of students in two different types of classes. They told the teachers of one class that all the students in that class had been screened and handpicked, and were among the brightest students of the school. In truth, those students were no different from any of the students in any of the other classes at the school, and had been chosen pretty much at random. But after some time, those students that had been “singled out” did indeed begin to make remarkable progress. The teachers subconsciously treated them differently in accordance to their belief that these students were special, and this had a positive affect on the students’ performances.

This study and this quote remind me of how much we can be and are affected by how others see us—whether or not we want to be. Maybe that’s why it’s so hard to truly not care at all about what the people around us think.

It also makes me wonder what kind of difference we could make if we just try harder to see the good in everyone around us and keep positive images of them all in our heads.

In Ten Years' Time

“It wasn’t enough to be what you were. You had to be working to be something else.”

~ Victor, Moving Pictures by Terry Pratchett

I was conversing with an old teacher of mine the other day about this over e-mail. It’s such a common question—where do you see yourself in, oh, ten years or so? And it seems like the “right” answer, or the expected answer, is always something other than wherever one happens to be now.

Of course, in many ways, that’s understandable. If you get asked this question at a job interview, people really want to know about your career ambitions, about if you’re thinking ahead and if your goals align with the job that you’re applying for. When people ask you this question in general, perhaps what they really want to know is what your plans are for your future, what your dreams are or your future goals.

It’s not about whether or not you’re happy with where you are or what you’ve got in life at the moment, which makes sense but is also a little sad sometimes. It’s like we’re not expected to be content with our lives. No wonder it can be hard for some people to appreciate what they have. So many of the words we use and hear everyday incidentally fill our heads with contrasts, comparisons, and dissatisfaction.

It’s great to strive for something more, and I’d be the first to say that we need to have dreams. But it doesn’t mean we can’t also be happy now, and take some time everyday just to appreciate the things and people we already have in our lives.

I hope I transcribed that quote correctly. I was listening to the audiobook for Moving Pictures when I jotted it down, and it’s not always easy to get things down word for word. I love a lot of Terry Pratchett’s work, so this blog will probably end up with multiple quotes from his stories in the long run. The mix of humor and insight in his books really lets us take a step back and contemplate the funny little things in our lives and about human beings.

Dealing with Insomnia

“A silly man lies awake all night

Thinking of many things.

When the morning comes he is worn with care,

And his trouble is just as it was.”

~ Norse proverb from the Poetic Edda 

This quote is dedicated to all those who, like me, have a terrible, terrible time falling asleep at night. Thank you, Joseph, for sharing it with us.

Although I like to think that my not being able to fall asleep has little to do with worrying, this belief—true or not in my subconscious—is hardly helpful when I’m lying awake wondering why in the world my mind is still so active when the rest of me is clearly worn out. It’s when I wake up in the early hours of the morning that I tend to get hit by my worries. In either case though, not being able to fall asleep and not being able to stay asleep are both rather painful experiences in the long run. And the problem is that there aren’t any guaranteed ways to combat it.

I still remember this one night during college when I just couldn’t fall asleep, so I finally got up at five in the morning to write an essay for one of my semester finals. I got the essay done, and scored well on it too, but it’s definitely not an experience I would want to repeat, especially the part where I spent the rest of the day drifting about in a sort of lightheaded daze from lack of proper rest.

In light of this, here are some of the things that I’ve tried that do help me with falling asleep.

•  Think Positive: I like to spend a few minutes reviewing all the good things that have happened during the day or just in general—and that includes the small things (like a great cup of coffee or a beautiful, sunny day) as well as the big ones (like having a wonderful family and a roof over my head).

•  Avoid Worrying: Bedtime is a terrible time to think about important things or dwell on worries. As the quote above says, you can spend all night worrying, and nothing will have changed when morning comes. It’s not worth losing sleep over. Of course, that’s easier said than done, but you’re the only one who can face your worries, think them through, and accept them. Some people find it helpful to try and not think at all when trying to sleep, but I find that quite impossible. Instead, I make myself think about what I like to call “interesting but unimportant” things, things that entertain me but I don’t have to remember come morning (i.e. no making plans).

•  Calming Teas: Some people find certain herbal teas to be helpful for inducing drowsiness, and I do think it works sometimes. In fact, there’s a brand of tea called “Nighty Night” specifically for this purpose. The downside is that if you don’t time it just right, you may end up having to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night, which sort of gets in the way of a good night’s rest.

•  Ginger and Brown Sugar Soup: This is a hot, Chinese sweet soup that Mom makes sometimes and is supposed to help with blood circulation and sleep. It’s quite spicy with lots of ginger, and the brown sugar is of a particular type nicknamed “red sugar” for poetic reasons in Mandarin. I’ve found it helpful the few times I’ve had it, though you have to like hot, spicy, sweet drinks.

•  Background Sound (or Lack Thereof): Figure out what kind of environment helps you relax. Some people like silence. I like a little bit of noise, preferably something low and monotonous like a portable fan or area heater (with temperature controls—don’t want to accidentally burn the house down).

There are plenty of other tricks and methods, of course. These are just some of the ones I use. Dad likes to get up and read a little when he can’t fall asleep, which works really well for him and I imagine I would do also if I weren’t legally blind.

Here are some articles that I found interesting and possibly helpful.

“Insomnia: Self Help” University of Cambridge Counseling Service

“Tips for Dealing with Insomnia” by Vijai P. Sharma, Ph.D

The Plans of Men

“Life is 10 percent what happens to you and 90 percent how you respond"

~ Joel Osteen, January 13, 2013 service 

I jotted this quote down while I was listening to Joel Osteen on TV this past Sunday morning, and then Mom quoted it to me again when she got back from church. I guess it left a deep impression on both of us.

It’s not easy to be happy or thankful when things don’t go the way we planned, but I definitely think it’s worth trying. It’s hard not to be upset for that one instant when something bad happens, but after that, whether we stay unhappy really is our choice. We don’t usually think about being happy as being a choice, but when you think about it, that’s exactly what it is.

It reminds me of whenever I used to worry about an essay I turned in or whether I should have said or shouldn’t have said something. I’d tell my sister, and then my sister would say something along the lines of “that’s stupid”, and I’d feel better. Of course, this only works for us because we know each other so well. I wouldn’t go and say that to a casual acquaintance.

It’s all about perspective.

But it’s not just about choosing not to let something upset you. It’s a mindset that has to be cultivated long term. As he said, you have to decide ahead of time not to be upset no matter what happens. It’s a lot easier to take a deep breath and calm down when something happens if you were already prepared to deal with it than to try and fight for your cool after you’ve already lost it.

That explains why it can be so hard. We weren’t prepared.

Dad’s had so many long business trips in the past couple years, and it’s always depressing when we have to say goodbye to him at the airport, wondering when he’ll be back and if his return will be delayed this time—again. On one of these business trips, he had quick stops in both China and Taiwan before finally boarding the plane for Korea. We were hopeful that this time, he’d be home on time. But just like so many times before, the moment he got there, his schedule started being shuffled around. He’d call us in the morning to say he’d be leaving stop one later than planned, only to call again that evening to say he’d be early. On the bright side, since we’d sort of expected this to happen, we tried not to let it bother us too much. In retrospect, frustrating though all the schedule changes were at the time, they were all incredibly fortuitous. Because of the time shifts, Dad left China on the plane just half an hour before all flights leaving the city were canceled due to storm winds and flooding. Then his plane from Taiwan left moments before the area he was staying was hit by one of the island’s serious, summer typhoons. If it weren’t for all the rescheduling, he may have been caught in either of these natural disasters. Sometimes, what seems like a bad thing may not be so terrible in the long run. As the Chinese saying goes, man’s plans can’t measure up to the plans of heaven.

Not So Complicated

“Don’t outsmart your common sense”

~ lyrics from Love Like Crazy by Lee Brice 

I heard this song on the radio this past Sunday on my way to class.

Everyone I know seems to have a different way of listening to songs. For instance, Mom will listen only to the music for the most part, and will have no idea afterwards what the lyrics were about. One of my cousins likes to look up lyrics after listening to a song, but only if she likes the feeling of the song first. I, on the other hand, always find myself noting down the words as I hear them, as long as the song is in a language that I understand. Because of this, certain songs stick in my head because of their stories or—in this case—the phrases that they use.

It really can be too easy sometimes to talk ourselves out of doing the right thing, especially when we’re nervous or scared—like when we know we should say sorry, but we’re not ready yet to admit that it’s our fault. At other times, we over think something so much that we just end up confusing ourselves and we still don’t have a satisfactory solution. That saying “making mountains out of molehills” also comes to mind.

Sometimes, maybe it’s not our logic or our reasoning ability that we need.